Avengers Hangover
by SerenBunny
Summary: Since Tony's to be married to Pepper, he might as well have a bachelor party. But since its Tony, anything that CAN go wrong, WILL go wrong. Party Guests:-Steve, Bruce, Thor, Natasha, Clint, Phil and an evil doer or three. Anyone think Tony will still be on the PLANET before his wedding? Go get your head examined.
1. Pepper Gets Her Way

**A/n:** Blame Angie for this story :) I will update every few days, and I'm a newie to Avengers (and haven't even SEEN the Hangover movie) so what you're expecting, you might not get.

Bit anyway, sit back, relaex and enjoy the read (and if you review I will love you for ever and ever :) ) xx

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The flurry of activity in Tony's newly redecorated tower caused the man within the Iron Man suit to frown. 'Did I break the tower again?'

"Tony!" Pepper Potts, soon to be Stark, shouted across the room and Tony's face broke into a grin, his mind ticking over to think of what he had done recently that might have pissed off the radiant red head.

'There is no way she can know about Scandinavia...right?' was his biggest worry. "Hello Pepper!"

"Tony where have you been? The wedding organizers have been here for three hours!" Pepper berated him, accepting the kiss on the cheek while glaring. "And don't think I don't know about Scandinavia! How could you treat Bruce and Steve like that?"

Tony grinned. "Lighten up Pepper, Green Mans okay and the Star Spangled Sir needed to get his ass handed to him."

"Tony." Pepper placed a hand on her face and took a deep breath. "I can't take this any more."

"What? You've been dealing with this for years!" Tony dismissed. "Come on let's go get some shawarma!"

"I'm serious Tony! I feel like I'm the only one who is taking this marriage seriously- what am I saying, I'm talking to Tony Stark." Pepper sighed as she sat down on the marble floor.

"Wait are you calling if the wedding?" Tony blinked in surprise. "I thought it'd take more than a pesky little fight to make you snap."

Pepper glared at Tony.

"That's her 'shut up before you dig your grave to China' glare." Agent Phil Coulson informed Tony as he entered the open living area, a cup of coffee being extended to the frazzled fiancé.

"Thank you Phil." Pepper smiled to the agent, and then glowered at Tony.

"His names still Agent." Tony muttered as he crossed his arms over his chest. "And after a God kills you, shouldn't you do the polite thing and stay dead?"

"TONY!"

Phil gave Tony a small smile. "I had unfinished business to attend to."

Phil turned, ignoring Tony as he rubbed his leg after Pepper whacked it, and looked at the pretty red head. "What did you call me for?"

"I need your help." Pepper smiled and accepted his hand to stand up, dusting off her skirt before walking to a table with a large bundle of papers and a single sheet. Taking a sip of the dark nectar she groaned in appreciation. "God Phil this coffee is to die for! Where did you get it?"

"State secret." Phil replied, accepting the large bundle of papers as Tony was handed the single sheet.

"What's this?" Tony asked, looking at the small list of names while Phil looked at the reams of possibilities.

"You-" Pepper poked Tony in his arc reactor "are only allowed to go on your bachelor party with the people on your list. Phil has a list of things that you are NOT allowed to do. Do anything on that list and the wedding is off. Am I clear?"

"Crystal." Tony nodded, grinning as he pulled her for a kiss. "Little dominatrix."

"I didn't sign up for this." Phil pointed out, interrupted their little make out session.

"Please Phil?" Pepper asked, smiling to him with her hands clasped.

"Yeah, please Agent?" Tony added, copying Peppers stance.

Phil glared at Tony, then sighed at Pepper. "Okay."


	2. Divided Duties

**A/n:** Thank you all for your favs, reviews and comments :) I hope you like this chapter (and sorry they are so short, but Avengers isn't my favourite thing ever, so it's hard to stay on track :/ )

But anyway, sit back, relaex and enjoy the read (and if you review I will love you for ever and ever :) ) xx

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"So." Tony turned to the Agent and grinned. "What's on the list?"

Phil looked at Tony before shaking his head. "Leave your party to me Tony, you should just concentrate on getting your guests to agree to come."

"Agent, Agent, Agent." Tony threw an arm around the man in black and chuckled to him.

Phil looked at him.

Undeterred (he wasn't the man of iron for nothing) Tony continued on as he walked the agent to his bar. "The guests will come, of yes they will. But if I know what we will be getting up to say, a strip club I might need to warn-"

"No strip clubs." Phil shot him down.

Tony faltered and looked at Peppers back, then Phil. "Come again?"

"No strip clubs. No clubs at all. No leaving the state that the party is in, unless it is an emergency. You are limited in the types of alcohol you can consume, no drugs, no stealing, violence or other nefarious activity unless you are called on by Director Fury or Pepper to do so." Phil glanced from the list and spoke quickly (elaborating a _little_.)

Tony frowned. "How am I supposed to have a stag do then?"

Phil shrugged. "That isn't my problem. I am only here to make sure you don't do anything that is on the list."

"And if I do?" Tony smirked. 'Ah ha nothing you can do secret agent boy!'

"Pepper has signed a contract stating she will not marry you." Phil replied, showing Tony the last piece of paper.

Tony snatched it from his hands and skimmed it, then reread it quickly. Groaning he slapped it to the agents chest. "Just give me a list of things we CAN do. I don't want to lose Pepper."

"I'm glad to hear you taking your relationship with Pepper seriously." Phil nodded in appreciation. "I'd advise you to get everyone on that list to agree to when your bachelor party will be, and let me know."

"What are you going to super nanny us again?" Tony raised an eyebrow.

"I know how dangerous you can be to those around you Mr Stark, and I will not allow you to lead Captain America, Thor and Dr Banner anywhere that can cause them major upset or huge amounts of collateral damage." Phil pointed out.

"Oh yes, because you would like the privilege of leading the good ole Captain up the garden path." Tony smirked.

Phil glared at Tony, then his face moved to be impassive. "The wedding is in four days Mr Stark, you better get calling."

"JARVIS, call up the old gang." Tony called to his AI, grinning to his handler as he brought his own cell phone out.

Phil tried to ignore Tony watching his every move as he brought his non descript non-military phone to his head. "Hi Dad, can I talk to your partner for a minute? One of my team is getting married and needs a hand with his bachelor party..."

"Sir, I am unable to contact Dr. Banner, but I have his co-ordinates from his-"

"Ssh!" Tony made slashing motions with his hand to his throat as Phil turned to look at him, one eyebrow raised. "You know, his er, cell phone GPS t0racker."

With a disbelieving look at Tony Phil nodded and continued with his phone call.

"Well that just means we'll pick him up with the jet. What about the love birds?" Tony asked as he moved to the bar and poured himself a drink.

"Ms Romanoff and Mr Barton are on a mission for SHIELD in Paris, France." JARVIS reported.

"Hmm, and the good Captain?" Tony asked, routing around for some limes in the mini fridge. "Is he at the retirement home?"

"Mr Rodgers is currently at Macys Department Store on 34th street, purchasing new clothes." JARVIS answered. "He has just purchased several mens shirts and three pair of chinos."

Tony winced. "At least it isn't any more Hawian shirts. And Thor? He still chilling at the lovely Miss Janes home?"

"Yes sir." JARVIS chirped.

"Excellent!" Tony downed his drink and slid it into the sink. "Prep the jet and leave a note for Pepper, I'll be back in time for the wedding."

"Very well sir." JARVIS agreed, the printer humming as Tony left the room, his car keys dangling between his fingers.

Phil glanced around the quiet area and raised an eyebrow. 'This is going to be interesting.'


End file.
